The Old Me

Last night I got to eat some delicious food paired with fantastic wine and great company. This morning I got to thinking about some of my past unhealthy behaviors.
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In the past, if I knew I was going out to eat, I would have worked out for a minimum of two hours, or done at least 2-3 workouts to prepare for the extra calories. Oh, and it doesn’t stop there! I most likely would have eaten at home beforehand and ordered something small at the restaurant, hoping my friends wouldn’t notice and ask questions. It doesn’t stop there either! The next day I would have completely beat myself up and pick myself apart for not having more willpower if I overindulged.
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It hurts my soul to think about how many years I did this to myself over and over again. It feels so free to know that food doesn’t have power over me anymore. But I am human, I have my moments where I feel like I am backtracking, and then I have to stop and put effort into loving myself more.
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But last night I felt like me again, grateful for all of the amazing humans I choose to surround myself with daily.